So, I’m sitting in a coffee shop in the part of Hong Kong where all the white people go to live together (because heaven forbid they go a day without being heard and understood loudly).

1) My coffee was £4.

2) There is a sign on the wall explaining why it’s tepid.

3) There’s some kind of documentary looping on the TV of a “Latte Art” competition (a panel of judges are rating the milk/coffee pattern-making efforts of a bunch of people with ridiculous clothes on).

Hong Kong is such a magnificent place.

Why do my people have to drag their horrendous antics over here?

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