Oliver’s Super Sandwiches – PolyU Campus

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Hong Kong’s chain restaurants don’t really obsess about consistency like UK ones.

This OSS is a mixture of great and shitty features.

MAJOR PRO: $22 (£1.70) for breakfast with coffee.

PRO: Free, fast Wi-Fi (if you know someone who works/studies on campus).

CONS: No bacon
Coffee cup too full (auto-spillage)
Paper cups
Plastic knives and forks
Literally no seats in the whole place without screen glare
Food not delivered to the table
Seats too low for the table

The latter point combines with the plastic cutlery to lend a “child at the grown-ups table” feel.

Of course, failing to love OSS is failing to love life, but this one is a decidedly average iteration saved only by its tremendous pricing and magic internets.

The standard OSS is characterised by its relentless pace and amazingly consistent standards, and this one is too empty and quiet, losing atmosphere in the process, but also resulting in a lacklustre performance from the staff.

To be fair, the paper cups do keep the coffee warmer than a regular OSS thick, freezing porcelain cup, and of course, any University campus has its share of hot teen bitches to enjoy.

OMG I AM JOKING! As with any university campus, the presence of young Americans is devastating to any feeling of serenity. About this I am most certainly not joking.

5/10

———
NB: Any decent Englishman may note that having coffee with breakfast is an absurd disgrace. However, in HK one is often served “tea” in the form of a strange liquid containing condensed milk resulting in a conversation with which I cannot always be fucked.

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